A Hearty Disease

DISCLAIMER: All characters and events described herein are fictitious (Yeah right!!) and bear no resemblance to real persons or events whatsoever (Whatever!! :D ). Any similarities are purely coincidental. ( a LOL to that).

T= Tigress
P= Panda
R=Rapunzel

T: Yaar Tai Lung was sooo handsome, he used to stare at me throughout all our Kung Fu classes. Every time I did a flying roundhouse kick I used to catch a glimpse of him staring at me, it was shoooo cute.

P: Come onnn, seriously? Seems like he had a crush on you ;).

T: Yeahh I guess so. Even I have a crush on him.

P: Lol, why not add him on FB then?

T: I'm too scared for that. A few of my tiger friends told me that he's arrogant. He won't accept my friendship request for sure.

P: You're sure he won't? Or are you assuming just because of hearsay?

T: Well....

P: Add him, trust me he'll add you up if he's interested.

T: Alright, I'll take your word for it. If he doesn't add me I'll skadoosh you so badly you won't be able to stand up.

P: hahahahhaha :D yeahhhh right :D

T: *gives serious look*

P: Wait....seriously? :|


DAY 2:

T: AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh :D:D:D:D he added me he added me he added meeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D:D:D thankyouu thankyouuuuu thankyouuuuuuuu :D:D:D

P: Oyee hoyyyyyeeeeeeee ;) congratshhhhhhhhh.

T: Looooollll thnkshhhhhh thankshhhhhhh :P now what do i do?

P: huhhhhhh....? what do you mean? You'll try to get him to confess that he likes you, no?

T: I dunno....I don't really know if I'm ready for something like a relationship.

P: Erm......ohhh...kayyyy.

DAY 3:

T: Oyee wasupppp.

P: Noothing much yoo, you tell?

T: Same same. Btw, I think I have a crush on Monkey :$

P: :OOOOO huhhhhh!!! Lolllllzz are you serious? :D

T: Well...he's cute you know :$ great as a person too. I wouldn't mind marrying him for sure.

P: Hahahahah omg :D what's next, a crush on Master Shefu? :P lolllzzz

T: :$$$$$ ermm........

P: Doubleeee Ohh-EM-GEE!! hahahaha :D you actually have a crush on Shefu as well??? :D

T: Yaar he's extremely nice as a person.

P: Stillll, he's much much older than you areeee :S

T: Yeahh but...its a crush you know, I can't help it.

P: Dayeemmmmm. Listen, you can really have more than one crush at a time? :S

T: 5 easily. LOl :D

P: hahahahha you know that its a disease? :P

T: Ohh really? What's it called then?

P: It's called the Multiple Crush Syndrome.

T: Grrrrr :@

Day 4:

Rapunzel: Listennnn tigress, don't call Prince Charming on your graduation treat. It would be very awkward for me if Panda starts teasing me in front of him :P

P: Guilty as charged. :D hahahha

T: Naah he won't do that, I know he won't. Don't worry.

P: Yeahhhh don't worry, I won't tease, I'll just bring my good friend Buzz Lightyear along with me.

R: Looooolzzz whatttt the helllllll.

P: Yeaaapppppp, I'll bring Buzz and I'm sureee that he knows Charming too :D it would be fun, no?

R: Hahahaha :D I'll killlllll youuuuuu!!!

T: Loll chill, he's just kidding around.

R: Yaar I have to go now, I'm feeling sleepy.

P: Sleepy? Yeah right, she's going to make a phone call to Buzzzy fuzzy :D hahahahha

R: youuuuuuuuuuuuu, I'll murder youuuuuuu :P

P: Bwahahahha :P Chalo jao talk to your buzzzyyyyy :P

R: Byeee :P

T: You think she and Buzz have something going on? Seriously?

P: Yeappp, like you have going on with Tai Lung, Monkey and Shefu :P hahaahhaha

T: I would slap youuuuu but I can't reach you. Too tall you are :(

P: Dekh lo hahaaha :D

T: I think I'm going to go sleep too.

P: Ofcourse, a new day, new crushes :D haina :D hahahaha Multiple Crush Syndrome, the cure is only Shaadi :P hahahaha

T: Maar paregi!! Panda :P lol :D

P: Noo chance :P

T: Goodnite, tc.

P: Get well soon, tc. Goodnite.

T: Get well kyun?

P: Crush syndrome :P

T: ARggghhhhh :@

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P.S. Read that Disclaimer in the start? Yeappp it was a lie :P huuuuhahahaha :P

The Phones talk!!

Shopkeeper: Thankyou for your purchase sir! Come again!

*door closes*


Sony ericsson W810i: *Sigh* There goes good ol' Aino, I'll miss him alot though :(

Moto VE66: Ahh don't worry, a new Aino will sit in his place.


W810: But it won't have his personality would it?

V66: Whatchu talkin' about, same circuitry, same software, soo duhhh he'll have the same personality!


W810: But me and that Aino were friends for like months! I won't get my friend back.


V66: Yeahh but....

*Someone slides open the battery cover of V66*

V66: GODDAMMIT IPHONE!! WHAT THE EFF!!

Iphone: Loooooll wedgieeee :P Why are you so down Walkboy?


W810: Aino left.


Iphone: Awww damn, he was fun to mess around with, he had a small slider but...it was fun anyways.

Moto V3: *flips open* Yawwwwwwwnn.....good morning everyone, wasuppp?


V66: *after getting his cover back on* Aino left today. *punches Iphone*


V3: ohh shit...has anyone told Xperia about this....? :\

All: Uhhh...ohhh...


Later in the day

Xperia X10: *sobbing* I loved him, soooo very much :''(


V3: There there, Xp, it's gonna be alright you know. There will be other Ainos, maybe even better, with better software than you deserve :)


X10: *sniff sniff* But he was mine, however buggy he was, whatever firmware he had, I loved him. What will happen to me and Mini now? :''((

W810: Mini? Who in the hell is Mini? Aino never mentioned this name :S

X10: *becomes a bit normal* Well, Aino and I were married once. We go a long way back W810, before you even were manufactured. We had our firmware issues, sometimes he was buggy, sometimes I was, but we both got updated over those issues. But one day he just froze on me. For me that was the last straw, so I broke it off. But from that marriage I had a child, I named her X10 Mini.


V66: How come we've never seen or met Mini then?


X10: She's in a different shop that's why. This guy in ours hasn't kept Mini here.

W810: That SOAB.

X10: Don't be so hard on the shopkeeper :S


W810: I'm talking about Aino!! He never told me he was married! Despite being my best friend, or so I thought.

Iphone: Oii!! Don't you dare abuse Aino! Or else I'll break your joystick!

W810: Oh yeah? I'm no K300 boy, I have a D-pad, not a joystick. You wanna go for it then go ahead! I'll pound you into the ground I swear! You don't know the power of my Bass Boost yet!

V66: Calm down people, please. X10, so what do you plan to do now?

X10: I dunno, I guess I'll go shut off for sometime.

*X10 goes into her box*

DAY 2

HTC Hero: Oiii, you there, you orange fellow!

W810: Orange? What do I look like to ya, and who the hell are you?

Hero: I'm Hero.


W810: *sniggers* Oh....*giggle* hahahahahahhahahha


Hero: What's so dang funny orange boy?


W810: Loll ohh nothing, Hero, hahahahhaa :D how cheap is that name, sounds like some barber shop. 'Welcome to the Hero barber shop - we make you from Saleem to Salman'. LOOLL


Hero: Uhh....huh.....talk about cheap and I know what sense of humor you have -_-

V66: Ahhh helloo, who are ya new piece?

W810: He's....*giggle* HERO :P


V66: Huh? hahahhaha Hero :D hey hey you remember that joke Aino told about that barber shop? :D


W810: Yeahh I applied that to him :P HERO :D Ohh mann this is good :D


X10: *yawnnn* What's all the commotion about? Oh.......hi....

Hero: *stares at X10* H...hi....I'm....*clears throat* I'm Hero....what's your name?


X10: Xperia *blushes* I like your name...Hero....I remember once Aino told a joke about....

Hero: Who is this Aino you all keep talking about?

V66: He's Xperia's X.


Hero: Ohh...what happened to him?


X10: He was bought yesterday.


Hero: Ohh :s I'm sorry about that, how are you feeling.


X10: Hmm...I'm better....partly thanks to you...Hero *blush*

Hero: Awwww cute, your touchscreen is turning red...


W810: sheeesh...

Iphone: *starts playing Hero by Enrique Iglesas*

Hero: Well....*ahem*....would you like to get recharged with me sometime X10?

X10: Ohh I thought you'd never ask <3


W810: *Kicks Iphone's menu button*

Iphone: *gasping for air, falls to the ground*

V66: Ohhhhh hoo hooo hooo cheap shot :D Wrong place to be kicked at ehhh Iphone :D Now I hope you won't think about wedgies, at all :P


W810: *whispers* X10, what about Mini?

X10: She'll manage to get bought, no worries :D

Hero:What are you two talking about?


W810: Nothing...Hero...*LOL*barber shop :P

Later

Hero: Hey walkboy, check out my apps, I have weather update, Googlemaps, News, Games, everything. What do you have?


W810: Meray paas Bass Boost hai.

V66: Hey Hero, this isn't your show-off club, go back into your box or else...


Hero: Or else....what? You'll open your slide? Oooooh i'm scared now.

*V3 sneaks from behind and flips open, pushing Hero from the shelf*


Hero: Aaahhhh!!! *Thumpppp* My SCREEN. MY SWEET TOUCHSCREEN. WHO PUSHED ME :@

V3: Hey, up here  Hero-to-zero ;) I pushed ya.

W810: Hey hero! You got mud all over your screen now. LOL. You're a tainted Hero now.


X10: Hey Hero! You suck!


W810: ???? Whoahhh hooo hoo....hold on....weren't you the one who was turning red at seeing him?

X10: :$ Well...yeahh....but he's not my type I guess....

V3: Ohhh...kayyy....sooo who's up for some recharging? My box is the place to go...

Iphone: *gasping for attention*

V66: You guys go ahead, I'll come with him when he....ummm....feels better....

W810: Sorry Iphone, for the kick...

Iphone: *shows him the finger on his touchscreen*

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Note: Dear cell phone enthusiasts, kindly ignore the timeline of when the cell phones in this little dialogue were released, it's just fiction ;)

The Dotty Life

Have you ever seen those drawing books where you have dots which you have to connect the dots to end up making some sort of image or whatever. Ever given thought to the fact that those kiddy puzzles could ever hold a lesson for you that would come in handy at the most turbulent times of your life?

Let's think about it for a while. If anyone who has solved such a connect-the-dots-to-draw puzzle, they will know what I'm talking about here.

You draw through the dots with speed right? I mean you get to one dot and you quickly find the next one and you connect and so on till you're done and you smile with pride at finishing the kiddy puzzle, congratulations. Now for some adult thoughts about the kiddy dots, and no potshots you hotshots.

I believe that each one of the events we go through in our life can be considered as the dots of life. Who is doing the 'drawing'? God. Just like the real kiddy puzzles, some 'dots' are near to the previous one, some are far.

What do we do when we stop at any one of the dots? Mostly, we whine. 'Why did this have to happen etc etc', stuff like that. We fail to realise that we are just standing at a dot, the next one will come too, we should be positive about it. However, everything comes at its appointed time, be it good or bad. But we rarely show the patience to wait for the 'drawing to be complete'. We just like to be hasty, that's human nature, or maybe its just the Red Bull overload...whatever...

What we fail to see my friends, is that the drawing cannot be complete until all the dots have been drawn through, and it is those dots that make a part of the complete picture.

You will not be able to see when does the next dot come into your life, only God can do that. But even just some pondering, looking back over the dots, will enable you to connect those dots yourself too. It's like this, you stand at dot A, reach dot B, and then you realise that you might not have been at dot B if you hadn't crossed A. And for all we know, dot B could be something extremely good after something extremely bad.

Good times follow the bad ones, relief comes with hardships, circumstances mould you into a better person, the dots will connect, the drawing will be beautiful, and you will know it, and live it.

May God grant you relief from all the worries, hardships, difficulties, stress, depression, and every negative emotion known to mankind. Ameen.

An argument of Birdly Proportions

The other day I was just watching outside my window and on roof of the parking area of the building in front of mine, I saw a group of four birds, divided in two, lets call them group A and B, facing each other. They seemed to be 'arguing' about something (Scene I) and I saw one of the birds from A fly away to a ledge, the other three were arguing among themselves . Some time later one of the B goes on the same ledge as the one from A and then they start talking (Scene II). Meanwhile the other two on the roof are engaged in their own convo (Scene III). Later, those two fly back together to the roof and they all talk again for sometime (Scene IV) before flying off altogether. I just thought it would be a good idea to translate into human language what those birds might have been arguing about, and I'll assume that the two groups comprised of couples, A and B. I'll name the birds as follows:
(A) - Male bird: James
      - Female bird: Janet

(B) - Male: Rocky
      - Female: Rachel

[SCENE I]

James: Heyy Rocky, how you doin' man, long time no see? where have you been?

Rocky: Lol yeahh long time indeed, well you know, i been flyin' around, here and there.

Rachel: (Sarcastic) Yeahhh flyin' around doing what rocky? why don't ya tell James that hmmmm?

Rocky: Darling please...not in front of my friends. I told you not to talk about it outside of the nest.

Janet: What happened Rachel? Tell me everything!!


Rocky: Just what we need!! a freaking gossiper asking about details now!! Happy now RACHEL?? You just gotta open your big beak don't ya!!

Janet: (feeling hurt) ....me...gossiper? :'( sooo uncalled for!!

James: Darling he didn't mean that. (Whispering to Rocky) Thanks A-Hole!! Now I gotta quiet her down.

Rocky: I'm....*sigh* I'm sorry Janet I didn't mean what I said. It's just that I....


Janet: Just shutup, don't talk to me :'( (flies away to ledge)


James: Rocky you cocky SON OF A HUMAN!!

Rocky: WTF!! Is it my fault that your wife is so goddamn emo!!??

Rachel: Just because a girl feels hurt does NOT make her an EMO Rocky!!

Rocky: Ugghhh, stop yakkin' in ma ear will ya. Let me solve one problem first!

[SCENE II]

Rocky: Look Janet, things haven't really been looking up for me these days aite, me and Rachel are going through tough times, the kids are yet to learn how to fly, and snails are hard to come by these days, so please, don't take my comments to the heart. I'm sorry.

Janet: (gains some composure) Goddamn you Rocky, I mean I know I talk quite alot but nobody has ever called me a 'GOSSIPER'. It's not the whole world's fault that you're going through tough times!


Rocky: You're right, I said I'm sorry didn't I? Now please, calm down, relax, and come back with me.

Meanwhile on the Roof - [SCENE III]


James: Sooooo....rachelll....wasss happenin'


Rachel: Ermm James....you...you feelin' alright?

James: Ohh yeah, tip top, top of the tree branch, el perfecto...what about you? :$


Rachel: Ahmm...i'm fine....why are you blushing though? :S


James: ....:$$$$

Rachel: Ohhh...kayyy (to herself "Retarded dude, don't know what does Janet see in him, weirdo")

James: (Ohhh how beautiful is Rachel, her beak is like a fine flower on one summer day....her eyes, the most beautiful black beads there are, how i wish i could hold her wings in mine and sing a song of luuurrrvee)

[Rachel snaps her wings]

Rachel: Sky to James, why the heck are you staring at me like you're gonna eat me or something?

James: Well...I've always thought that you're quite...you know...sweet...

Rachel: ... ahann...


James: ...and cute...:$..

Rachel: Tell me more....

James: Btw, what happened between you and Rocky?


Rachel: Leave that, tell me, what do you think of me?

James: Ohh..well...I guess I sort of....

Rachel: Ahannn....go on....

James: I sort of like you :$$$$$

Rachel: awww shoooo cute :D blushy squishy guuji guuji birdy :D Tell you what...Rocky will go away on a business trip for a few days next week. I'll send you a 'TWEET'...you can come over then?

James: What business trip?

Rachel: Oh he's going snail-hunting on a company sponsored trip.

James: Ohh I forgot the company's name. What was it again..?

Rachel: 'Birdass Flyers Co.'

James: Lol, nice. Well anyway, yeah you can send over a tweet and I'll bring the nectar ;)

Rachel: Sweet ;)

[SCENE IV]

Rocky: Well, Janet's hopefully fine now, aren't you? :)

Janet: Hmm...yeah...I guess so...Hey btw, what really happened between you and Rocky, Rachel?

Rachel: I think Rocky should answer that...right darling?

Rocky: (Mouthing to Rachel: HUMAN) *Ahem* Well....ermm....oh geee look at the time, it's 5 already, shouldn't we all be going to work now..?


James: uhh uhh. You ain't gettin' away from this one bud. Tell us, what happened?


Rocky: .....:$...well....errr....um.......

Rachel: He's an alcoholic now James. Hooked on Vodka and Gin. Last night he was caught pooping in the White House garden while shouting 'DOWN WITH USA!! BAN HUNTING SEASON!!'

James: But...banning the hunting season, its a good cause isn't it?

Rachel: Lol, yeah but only if you have some supporters in it. Shoutin' your ass off at night while drunk only means you're mentally retarded.

Rocky: Come on now Rachel!! I promised you that I'd quit didn't I? I promised I'd go for Rehab. If Lindsay can do it, so can I.

Janet: Lindsay went for drug rehab you idiot, not for alcoholism.


Rocky: Fine then!! I'll go the Altaf Hussain way!! I'll not stop drinking, and I'll make my own party, get some support, recruit some brave birds and make speeches while drunk!! How's THAT for rehab....HUMANS!!


James: umm...Ok, relax everyone. I think we all need to go home and talk instead of here. Too many humans around, and I've been noticing one that's been watching us since a long time from the window across the road, and frankly it scares me, I don't want to find out if he's carrying a hunting gun or not sooo please. Let's go.

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An ACCA story

8:00 AM

Brrrrrrrrrringgggggggggggg

F1: Goooooood morning everyone, another day, another thousand students to torture.

P4: Lol, look who’s talking. How are you gonna torture ANYONE F1? Whaddaya gonna do? Tell me
business structures till I die? LOL!! Learn the art of torture from me boys.

P2: For God’s sake P4! It’s just the start of the day and already you’re at it.

P4: Shut yer trap, Capiche?

F7: OYE! You can’t talk to my dad like that!!

P4: Ohh yeah, now I’m scared. Ohhhh save me!! P2 and F7 will murder me with their IAS’s. Tell ya what, why don’t you go consolidate a few balance sheets and leave me alone, eh?

F2: Calm down P4, please. Keep peace.

*P4 punches F2 in the gut*

P4: Come back after you calculate the pain per blood cell in your belly, aite?

F5: Lol and after you’re done I’ll let you know the variance!!

*P4 slaps F5*

P5: OYE!! What did you do that for?????

P4: Sue me!

F4: Ohhh he just might!

*P4 slaps F4 too*

F4: You TORTurous son of a…..(slap)

*F3 enters*

F3: Whoooo wants breakfast?

F9: Just some LIBOR please…

P4: I want Options, a few Futures and a glass of WACC. These guys have ruined my mood.



10:00 AM

F6: Dad, I heard some noise in the morning today. Something wrong?

P6: Naah son, it’s just your uncle P4 exercising his anger venting options.

P7: This can’t go on P6, it just can’t. I can see my family breaking up because of P4.

P1: I could maybe do something about it? Teach him some ethics…anything?

P6: *Scoffs* Yeah, like anyone listens to YOU of all the people. Enron ring a bell?

P1: Heyy! Not Fair! I wasn’t there when it happened!

F8: Welcome to the club uncle P1.

P7: Son, go do your homework.

*F8 goes to his room*

P6: Sigh, I just wish P4 could be more like F9. He’s just so kind in nature as compared to his father. A
shame.

P7: He will change brother, one day he will.

6:00 PM

F3: Has anyone seen my iPod? I can’t find it anywhere.

P4: I for sure haven’t. Maybe P3 has it, the guy gets a kick outta analyzing things, and people.

P3: Funny, coming from someone who keeps analyzing the stock exchange so much that he lives his life off it.

P4: Oooo, someone seems to have ANALYZED my LIFECYCLE!!

P3: HEDGE YOU P4, HEDGE YOU!

P4: Stop shoutin’, or else you’ll need a major re-engineering.

8:00 PM

P7: P4, I am sick and tired of your daily antics. Why do you have to be so angry? If you have issues, talk
them out.

P4: I…no issues. I don’t have any goddamn issues.

P7: Come on, I’m your brother, you can tell me. Come on, let it out.

P4: I….*sigh*…

P7: Go on…

P4 (sobbing a little): You all have it easy. I’m the hated one. Everyone hates me. I don’t know why. I’m a
good guy on the inside, but…..but nobody just seems to understand me. (crying)

P7: I know the feeling my brother, trust me. You see, you must really change yourself if you want people to
understand you. Look at me, I keep a good image on the outside, though I’m quite a tough old nut on the inside. But you, and me, and everyone else are a part of this family, we must not fight among ourselves.

P4: I’m not the one who started it, P3 and P5 have been fighting within themselves, you just don’t see it.

P7: Don't worry, I'll do something. But are you feeling better?

P4: I guess so...maybe...

P7: Look you don't have to SPECULATE. Tell me surely, feeling better?

P4: I can't be certain...

P7: *facepalm* Fine, I'll ASSUME you're feeling better.

10:00 PM

(At the dinner table)

P7: P3, I have been told that you and P5 have had some….conflicts? Is this true?

P3 : Well…yes…

P5: Well…its more of my fault…I sometimes go to P3’s room, and steal stuff… :$ I’m sorry..but I can’t help
it either…

P7: Why not?

P5: Well…my room is incomplete without his stuff..

P7: ???

P5: Let’s just say that if I stopped stealing stuff from his room, I wouldn’t really be a part of this family
anymore.

P7: come on P5, it can’t be THAT bad..?

P5 (getting uncomfy and a tad irritated): Look, can we just eat and go to sleep? Our conflict will remain
and you can’t do anything about it, get it? Don’t make me open my mouth or else nasty secrets will come out.

P7: WHAT…DO YOU MEAN..?

P5 (drops his spoon and fork in anger): Alrighty, seems some people won’t be sleeping easy tonight. F1,
F2 and F3, nobody really cares about you here, whether you stay, or don’t. Nobody gives a damn. You 3 can even be ignored completely. F4, you are an illegitimate child of P1 and Law, you are not a real part of this family (F4’s eyes well up with tears, he goes to his room). F6, you are not the only one of your kind. There are some like you in many places. People can ignore you for them if they choose to. Same goes for you F7 and P2, F8, even you. F9, you are not much like your dad, you should be ashamed of having a father like P4, nobody likes him, everyone hates him. P6 and P7, I don’t want to say anything against you two, purely for the little bit of respect I have for you as my elder brothers. Do not test my patience any further.

P7:…this family will….will never be the same after tonight….

P5: The hell it won’t, its 2011, changes WILL happen.

P6: What do you mean??

P5:They are going to revise us. And they are going to put the CAT down…

P7 (wells up with tears): No, not the CAT surely :S

P5: I’m afraid so…

*Entire table in depression after this news*

P7 (after gaining composure): Who told you all this P5?

P5: Google.

(F.R.I.E.N.D.S Theme Tune at the End)


;) hope you enjoyed.